These Phrases shared by A Parent Which Helped Us during my time as a Brand-New Father

"I believe I was merely trying to survive for the first year."

Ex- Made In Chelsea star Ryan Libbey anticipated to manage the demands of fatherhood.

Yet the reality quickly turned out to be "completely different" to what he pictured.

Serious health issues surrounding the birth resulted in his partner Louise hospitalised. Abruptly he was thrust into becoming her primary caregiver while also taking care of their newborn son Leo.

"I was doing each nighttime feed, every nappy change… each outing. The duty of both parents," Ryan stated.

Following 11 months he reached burnout. It was a conversation with his father, on a bench in the park, that led him to understand he needed help.

The direct statement "You are not in a good place. You must get assistance. What can I do to assist you?" paved the way for Ryan to speak honestly, look for assistance and regain his footing.

His experience is commonplace, but rarely discussed. While people is now more accustomed to talking about the pressure on mothers and about post-natal depression, not enough is spoken about the difficulties new fathers encounter.

Seeking help isn't a weakness to seek assistance

Ryan believes his challenges are part of a larger reluctance to communicate amongst men, who continue to internalise damaging notions of what it means to be a man.

Men, he says, tend to think they must be "the fortress that just gets hit and remains standing every time."

"It's not a display of being weak to seek help. I was too slow to do that fast enough," he adds.

Clinical psychologist Dr Jill Domoney, a expert who studies mental health surrounding childbirth, explains men frequently refuse to acknowledge they're having a hard time.

They can believe they are "not the right person to be seeking help" - particularly in front of a mum and baby - but she stresses their mental state is vitally important to the unit.

Ryan's heart-to-heart with his dad gave him the chance to ask for a break - going on a couple of days away, outside of the home environment, to see things clearly.

He understood he required a adjustment to focus on his and his partner's emotions as well as the practical tasks of looking after a new baby.

When he was honest with Louise, he discovered he'd failed to notice "what she needed" -holding her hand and listening to her.

Self-parenting

That realisation has transformed how Ryan views parenthood.

He's now penning Leo weekly letters about his experiences as a dad, which he aspires his son will read as he grows up.

Ryan believes these will help his son to more fully comprehend the vocabulary of emotion and understand his approach to fatherhood.

The idea of "reparenting" is something artist Professor Green - whose name is Stephen Manderson - has also experienced deeply since becoming a dad to his son Slimane, who is now four years old.

When he was young Stephen was without reliable male a father figure. Despite having an "incredible" bond with his dad, long-standing difficult experiences resulted in his father struggled to cope and was "present intermittently" of his life, making difficult their relationship.

Stephen says bottling up emotions led him to make "bad choices" when younger to change how he felt, turning in drink and drugs as a way out from the anguish.

"You gravitate to substances that aren't helpful," he explains. "They might short-term modify how you are feeling, but they will ultimately cause more harm."

Strategies for Coping as a First-Time Parent

• Share with someone - if you're feeling swamped, tell a family member, your other half or a professional how you're feeling. Doing so may to ease the pressure and make you feel more supported.
• Remember your hobbies - continue with the things that allowed you to feel like yourself before the baby arrived. It could be playing sport, socialising or a favourite hobby.
• Pay attention to the physical health - eating well, physical activity and if you can, getting some sleep, all contribute in how your mental state is faring.
• Spend time with other new dads - sharing their experiences, the difficult parts, along with the good ones, can help to validate how you're experiencing things.
• Remember that seeking help isn't failing - prioritising yourself is the optimal method you can care for your family.

When his father later died by suicide, Stephen understandably struggled to accept the passing, having not spoken to him for many years.

Now being a father himself, Stephen's committed not to "continue the chain" with his own son and instead offer the safety and nurturing he missed out on.

When his son threatens to have a tantrum, for example, they practise "releasing the emotion" together - processing the feelings in a healthy way.

The two men Ryan and Stephen state they have become improved and more well-rounded men since they confronted their issues, transformed how they communicate, and taught themselves to manage themselves for their kids.

"I have improved at… dealing with things and dealing with things," states Stephen.

"I expressed that in a note to Leo recently," Ryan adds. "I expressed, at times I believe my job is to instruct and tell you what to do, but the truth is, it's a two-way conversation. I am understanding just as much as you are through this experience."